I want to have your abortion
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
