you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
