I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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