i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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