She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
