there was a trapeze. enough said
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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