So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
