I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
