one two three fourrrrnication!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You need a sexual gate keeper
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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