im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
