Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
