Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
