i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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