Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
