let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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