Your face is a jimmy john
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
