I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
