Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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