I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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