so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize