I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
