I hate your face
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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