I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
