How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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