Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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