I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
