His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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