well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
