I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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