She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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