Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
