oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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