Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
