I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
