So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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