So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
