she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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