get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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