Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
