I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize