hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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