Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
These tits shall not be calmed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
