Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
