planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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