careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i believe in u and ur pee
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
