There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she peed on how many people?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
