I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
