I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
