I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
