Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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