YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
