I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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