Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you had me at cake vodka
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
