this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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