Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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