You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
