there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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