I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
